Simonne's Story

"Surrender is the hardest thing but I remembered a talk with the question 'Who is more likely to mess up your life? You or God?'" ... I've been given more than I imagined.

"My life before I met Jesus was self-centred: me, myself and I in seach of meaning and happiness. I relied heavily on meditation, yoga and eastern philosophies - but with more and more expensive courses I only felt more removed from myself and society.

I slipped into a dark place for a while. It's a terrifying place to be because it not only feels relentless and desperate but unbearably lonely. When I was suffering I just hated the world around me.

In March 2004 we saw the movie ‘the Passion of the Christ'. I was pretty shakened by watching this man suffer. As a non-believer the love of this man, his strength to go on and sacrifice himself so that everyone would have inner peace through him was too much to handle. I felt angry.

A few weeks later we received a flyer from Holland Road offering a series on the man behind the movie. For a long time I resisted everything the church offered.The Alpha course helped me see that Jesus died to forgive me from being a self-worshipper, and I decided to stop stubbornly ignoring God and surrender to him instead. This was the hardest thing to me to do: up till now I had been in control.

I remembered a talk at church with the question: ‘who is more likely to mess up your life? You or God?!'. I'd messed up for 30 years - I had nothing to lose.
And with that, the presence I'd felt in the times of darkness now speaks to me, with loving guidance through prayer and the Word. I've been given more than I imagined: inner peace, and direction, and purpose for my life. Even in the trying times I sense a greater purpose for them, like I'm being trained up for bigger and better things to come."